I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were trust falling into bushes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
