He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
