Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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