i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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