i permit you to call me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
