Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
