so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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