Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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