Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe

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  (508): I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe http://tfl.nu/0gxj
  Replies (17) Good night (1018) Bad night (3395)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.

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  (901): great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts. http://tfl.nu/3wub
  Replies (31) Good night (4232) Bad night (970)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (640) Bad night (5585)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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  (415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first? http://tfl.nu/brke
  Replies (9) Good night (4935) Bad night (561)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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  (250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc
  Replies (80) Good night (1091) Bad night (6480)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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  (229): He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him. http://tfl.nu/c2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (6580) Bad night (1161)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2789) Bad night (926)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3766) Bad night (1039)
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  (+35): View more from

  i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.

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  (+35): i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry. http://tfl.nu/d5vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1890) Bad night (1239)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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  (214): If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you http://tfl.nu/i2kd
  Replies (7) Good night (1282) Bad night (1954)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...

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  (513): So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face... http://tfl.nu/mkbe
  Replies (3) Good night (1562) Bad night (875)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like

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  (914): Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like http://tfl.nu/plug
  Replies (19) Good night (975) Bad night (1975)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.

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  (573): and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat. http://tfl.nu/xl3m
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (613)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

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  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (369)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Stop touching yourself.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???

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  (608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera??? http://tfl.nu/6vj4
  Replies (11) Good night (1132) Bad night (452)

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