If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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