i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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