i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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