D3 body, D1 cock
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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