I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
