What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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