I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
