it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
worst night to have a conscience
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
