Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
