Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
