Where is the hickey?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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