ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
