Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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