Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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