There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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