i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
