idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
