I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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