I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
