The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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