i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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