I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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