I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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