So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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