i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need a beard to bite.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
