May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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