Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
