yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
