i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
