what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
