i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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