Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
