Buhtt sex?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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