I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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