My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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