K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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