I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize