Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
