Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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