The maid of honor just puked.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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