I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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