My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize