so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
