my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
