My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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