Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
