you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think your dad took our porno
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
