covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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